Simplicity
by uhnonniemiss
Summary: Phan oneshot. Dan doesn't know how to tell Phil he loves him, so enlists the help of PJ. But what will happen when Phil comes home early and misunderstands the situation? No warnings or swearing, just fluff xxx Reviews make the flowers grow so please help the environment and tell me what you thought :)


Dan lay on the floor, surrounded by crumpled and torn up pieces of paper. "PJ, you have to help me."

PJ stood with his arms folded, staring down. "I did drag myself all the way here. To be fair, I'd mostly intended to laugh at you, but I think I should offer my services. But then again," he pressed his lips together, holding back a grin. "I could just keep laughing at you."

"No, PJ, please!" Dan sat up suddenly, his unstraightened hair sticking out in all directions. "You don't understand, I can't do it."

"What can't you do?" PJ offered a hand and pulled Dan to sit on the bed. "Just calm down, okay?"

Dan wrung his hands nervously. "I can't tell Phil that I love him! It's not that I don't want to- I really, really want to- I just don't know how. How do you say something that big? What if I'm too corny? Too sarcastic? What if-"

"Slow down," PJ laid a hand on his shoulder. "Have you never had to say it before?"

"Yeah, but those times weren't _Phil_. They didn't _matter_. Seriously, PJ, you're the creative one, tell me how to do this." He looked desperate, his lip sticking out like a five year old

PJ sighed. "I'm sorry, man, I can't help you with this. If I came up with what to say, it wouldn't mean anything. Why don't you just make it up on the spot? A little spontaneous improvisation?" Dan gave him a withering look and buried his head in one of the pillows. "Or… not. That's fine too."

Dan sniffed pathetically. "I'm the worst boyfriend in the world."

"Okay, this is going to sound a little weird," he hesitated, "but why don't you practise with me? I can sort of… give you feedback."

Dan sat up, a smile breaking out over his face. "Seriously? Thank you, thank you," he hugged PJ tightly.

"Just call me the love mentor." PJ patted Dan's back awkwardly. "Okay, hit me with what you've got so far."

Dan cleared his throat, crossing his legs underneath him. "Okay, er… Phil. I can't live without you. You're my everything, I worship you, everything about you is perfection-"

"Okay, wait," PJ held his hands up. "Slow it right down. You wanna put him on the spot? Try and make it sound like you can spend an afternoon apart and not spontaneously combust."

"Alright, um…" Dan breathed in deeply. "Phil, you can't deny what's between us. I think we're perfect for each other."

PJ snorted. "What the hell is this, a business proposal? Loosen up a little."

"I'm… totally hooked on you? I… I wanna get down with this?" Dan scratched the back of his neck. "Maybe not. How about this?" He took PJ's hand. "Phil, you're my darling, my sunshine."

"Yeah, that's really good," PJ nodded encouragingly, and Dan's eyes lit up. "Or it would be, if you were a seventy year old married couple. Get a bit of life in this, man! You gonna be calling him sweetie tonight?"

Dan looked down, bit his lip, and tried to look up through his lashes. The overall effect was more 'seizure' than 'sultry'. "Phil, you make me burn with desire. I want you, you've got what I need."

PJ pulled back his hand, looking alarmed. "I think I preferred the old married couple. Aim for more complimentary, not sleazy. Oh, and please don't hold my hand while you try and make bedroom eyes." He wiped his palm on his jeans.

"You're my Prince Charming-"

PJ made a face. "Ew."

"My angel-"

"Yuck."

"My king?"

"No!" PJ ran a hand through his hair. "Dan, you know your problem?"

Dan rested his head in his hands. "I suck?"

"Apart from that. Your problem is that you're trying too hard. Just let this come from the heart, okay? You really love Phil?" Dan nodded mutely. "Then you don't need a load of fancy words to say that for you."

Dan sighed, than nodded once, then more enthusiastically. "I'm in love with you. I want to grow old with you. You're beautiful and kind and smart-"

"That's it!" PJ punched the air. "Love mentor claims another win! Keep going!"

Dan's voice got louder, more animated. "I adore you. You are the most important thing in my world. You make me so happy. I've fallen for you. I feel more alive when I'm with you. From the bottom of my heart, I love you, I love you, I l-" The bedroom door swung open, and Phil stood there, half-silhouetted from the landing light and with a devastated expression on his face. Dan's smile froze in place. "Phil? What are you doing here?"

* * *

**Earlier**

Phil closed the front door behind him, kicking off his shoes. He hadn't expected to be back from seeing his brother so soon- he was hoping he'd be able to catch Dan in an amusing compromised position. Or the shower. That worked too.

Dan wasn't in the lounge, either, or the kitchen, which increased the chances of this. Phil grinned, taking the stairs as quietly as possible. He hovered outside Dan's door, waiting for the perfect moment to burst in and either laugh at or passionately make out with his boyfriend.

That was when he heard the voices, and his smile dropped.

"_I'm in love with you,_" Dan's honeyed tones were fluttery, excited. Compliments and promises poured out of him, and Phil turned sad. How long had he been waiting to hear those words? His lungs turned thick with the feeling that he'd been cheated. It was bitter and childish but he'd almost resented Dan for not being able to say them.

That wasn't what turned his blood cold though. There was another voice coming from the room, too, laughing, shouting encouragement. _PJ. PJ's in there._ A wave of nausea swept over Phil. No, no, it couldn't be true. Dan wouldn't cheat. He just wouldn't, and not with PJ, of all people. But the harder Phil thought, the more sense it made; the unwillingness to say a few simple words, the nervous vibe he'd got from Dan recently, waiting until he wasn't here to invite PJ over. It fit. Everything fit.

He swung open the door, stopping Dan mid-sentence. They were sat together on the bed, laughing, almost touching. Dan looked mortified, and Phil heard a distant question, but couldn't bring himself to answer. He just kept staring at them, shaking his head.

"Oh, my God," he whispered. "Oh, my God, you didn't."

Dan looked shocked, gesturing to himself and PJ, who was sat quietly. "You think- God, no! This really isn't what it looks like."

Phil bit the inside of his cheek, trying to ignore the pricking sensation behind his eyes. "Go to hell," he spat, and stormed out of the room.

* * *

"Oh, my God, you didn't."

Dan saw the anger, the thinly veiled hurt, where he'd expected amusement and love to be. For a heartbeat he was confused, but as soon as he glanced at PJ he realised how this must seem.

He quickly motioned between them. "You think- God, no! This really isn't what it looks like." Phil thought he was having some kind of affair. _No, this can't happen now, not when I'm so close to telling him how I feel. _He realised how this looked to an outsider, and put on top of how he'd been avoiding Phil so he didn't have to deal with the toxic mixture of shame and guilt at not being able to say a few easy words… The full weight of Dan's actions fell on him, and his heart began to race. _Phil_.

There was no compassion, no understanding in Phil's gaze; in fact, there was barely any emotion at all. "Go to hell." The cold voice sounded like a prison door as Phil turned and ran down the stairs.

Dan sprang to his feet. "Phil, wait!" He launched out of the door and caught Phil's arm. "It's really not what you think."

"Really? My boyfriend telling one of my best friends that he loves him, on the bed, when I'm not home? I missed that rule in _Scrabble. _You know what," he turned his head away, wiping the back of his hand across his eyes. "I don't even want to hear your excuses. I just want you to be happy. Guess I couldn't do that." His voice broke on the last syllable.

Dan was desperate, pleading. "Phil, I swear, I'm not in love with PJ! I asked him over to help me with something."

"Oh, I bet you did," Phil snorted.

"Please, Phil, please believe me. I'm not cheating on you with PJ, I never would. I'm _certainly _not in love with him."

"Then why can you say it to him?" Phil choked. "I've been waiting to hear it, Dan, I've never wanted to pressure you, but I leave you alone and you can say it to someone else in a second. Why is that?"

Dan sighed, averting his eyes. "I wasn't saying it to him. I was saying it to you."

"What? Dan, you're not making any-"

"I've never had to say it to anyone before," Dan took Phil's hands. "Not like this. You are so precious, _this _is so precious," he held up their hands "that I'm terrified of not doing it right. I was scared that you wouldn't think I really meant it, or that I'd be too corny, or not corny enough. I got PJ to come and help me figure out how to tell you how I feel. What I said in that room? That was all for you. Every word."

"You're serious?" Phil looked at him, his expression softening when Dan nodded. "You idiot. Come here." He kissed the tip of Dan's nose, and pulled him into a hug. "I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions. I didn't really believe it, anyway. I just thought-"

"I know." Dan held on tightly. "I'm sorry I couldn't say that I-I love you. I love you, Phil. I love you so much."

"It's okay. I know you do," Phil closed his eyes, smiling softly. "I love you too."

They were a few, very simple, words. But in that moment, there had never been anything more beautiful.

**Thank you so much for reading xxx For the rest of my fics, please go to my tumblr (also called uhnonniemiss)**

**Every time you send a review a panda smiles so please tell me what you thought :)**

**I'm so sorry that was a very fast development wasn't it (also what happened to PJ?)**


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